Friday Prayer

"In the name of Science, the most Logical, the most Factual"


Dear Lord,
We ask You not to end this peril of dust and darkness,
We merely ask You to hold Thy horses...
For it has been weekend upon weekend that we have suffered Thy frickin' wrath...
Forgive us Lord if we have sinned, forgive us more in the days to come for we WILL sin...
Amen

Followup Day 2: Blondie

Blondie's condition is getting better. She is no longer in a state of shock, so she's off the IV and the oxygen.  Her collapsed lung has slightly regained its volume.  She has some dead skin which needs to be denuded and stitched.  The main problem is that her left hind leg has been displaced from the hip joint.  There are two options, either a total hip replacement or a partial excision of the femoral head.  However, the operation has to be postponed until she is vitally stable.  She is on antibiotics and painkillers at the moment.  I was hurt to see her not able to walk or sit unaided due to the amount of pain she's in... I'm sorry for not posting anything, it's just that I don't feel like writing anything at the moment... Thanx for understanding...

Followup: Blondie

I just paid a visit to Blondie at the International Veterinary Hospital.  Her condition is stable now, although she has a fractured rib and her left lung is collapsed.  She is in an oxygen chamber for re-oxygenation.  Her left hind leg seems injured slightly but not fractured.  She has not passed urine since last night which may indicate a bladder injury.  She is not able to walk yet and is on IV fluids to stabilize her body fluids.  The folks at the hospital are doing their best to resuscitate her.  I have even spoken to the hospital's director and he'll be watching over the case personally.  I would like to thank all the hospital staff, my family and friends for being by my side during this tragic event. 

Get well soon Blondie... I love you...

Blondie

At 11:00 pm last night Blondie was hit by a car.  She is now resting at the International Veterinary Hospital.  I hope she'll be ok...

Scarcity of Lyrics?

Why are Western singers incorporating their names as part of their songs' lyrics? I'm not sure if they're running out of words or if they're trying to remind us who's song it is.  I find it quite disturbing either way.  It shows either lack of creativity in the former scenario and insecurity in the latter.  Akon, Sean Paul, Beyonce, Shakira, Enrique, Ciara and Lady Gaga have all mentioned their names as part of their songs.  Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against them.  It's just that it somewhat annoys me, especially when I know that these people can and have done better.  I think Lady Gaga was the first to notice it.  In her hit, "Monster", she even says "don't call me Gaga..."  A really clever act by mademoiselle Gaga I must say,  she gets the satisfaction of mentioning her name yet avoids accusation of being obsessed with her name like her peers.  You don't see Om Kalthoum shouting out her name as Al Simbati's hand dances with the cords of his oud.  I might be a bit old fashioned but that's who I am; call me Xinki ;-)

Apology

The internet is finally working again.  I apologize for not posting anything except for a couple of short posts I managed to write from my phone.  I apologize for depending on my dad to handle the internet subscription.  I apologize that we live in a backwards society in which a 23 year old man still lives with his parents.  I apologize that this same society finds it more appropriate for a grown man to live with his parents than to live alone and depend on himself.  I apologize for the bureaucracy in this country that has caused us to linger back when all the other nations are striving for success.  A bureaucracy where you cannot pay your own phone and internet bills online.  A bureaucracy where bedouins are running the country's institutions.  I apologize for living here.  I apologize for keeping my mouth shut all this time.  I promise you this, I will no longer refrain from taking action when I can and I will no longer keep my mouth shut from the atrocities that I witness in the land that I love.

MM9 Facts

Beef jerky is made from male bisons' penile muscles, hence the name "jerk"-y.

MM9 Facts

The Statue of Liberty was originally designed to be nude.

The controversy between the French sculptor Frédéric Auguste Bartholdi and the American authorities was whether the lady should have pubic and armpit hair or not. The idea was then discarded and replaced with a lady in a tunic.

Internet Down

My cheap ass dad hasn't paid the internet bill yet. I appologize for not posting anything today. I would like to thank everyone for sending me numerous emails from around the world (makoti :P) asking me to update the blog. Until the internet is up and running again take the time to enjoy my previous posts, thank you ;)


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Matchstick Man

My imagination and love for experimentation have never failed me until last night.  I have always watched in awe as my mom and sister splattered their heads with the stool-like batter of dried leaves and water called "7ennah".  The pungent odor of horse manure has always kept a distance between me and those desperate females trying to impress their mate by any means possible.  I don't know if it was the cumulative tire of a long week's work that led me to take that decision or if it was mere curiosity.  Yes, I did, I have tried 7ennah for the first time in my life.  I slowly came to my senses as my sister, the accomplice in this dredged act, slowly smudged the batter on my head.  Voila! All done.  After an agonizing two hours of slime dripping on my neck and down my t-shirt, it was time to wash it off.  The mess i created in the shower was the least of my worries.  I watched slowly as the clusters of dried 7ennah washed down the drain taking my sanity with them.  I did not even dare to take a look at my self in the bathroom mirror.  After I have fully dried my hair it was time to reap the fruit of my wrongdoing.  Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the matchstick man.  I looked like a 50 year old Pakistani tailor in Ahmed Al Jaber street.  I did not care about the added volume of my hair, about the nutrients and minerals that have fortified my hair roots.  All I cared about was my self image that has been scarred for the next couple of weeks or perhaps more.  The act has been done and cannot be changed.  I ask for your mercy and for my dignity's forgiveness.

Bad Ass Marketing

Seriously? This is your marketing strategy? I don't think you'll get a lot of recruiting done by using tacky graphics and fear-instilling propaganda!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Red Label Review

Perhaps the name Red Label has been synonymous with the brand Johnnie Walker for ages.  From bars around the world to retired Kuwaiti men in their striped dishdashas and ga7fias, this blended Scotch whiskey is favored globally.  Whether at a sassy club in LA or at a farm in 3abdili with cheap hookers, Red Label is the drink of choice.  The rich aroma of distilled malts is gently infused with the scent of hand sanitizer.  To fully appreciate its tangent smell of 3 am public toilets, it is best served straight on the rocks.  One sip of this 8 year old Scotch and your taste buds will be invigorated with the taste of a sweaty armpit and the hint of worn out deodorant.  The after taste is a whole different experience in itself.  The taste of early morning vomit will keep your taste buds tingling with anticipation for the next sip of Johnnie Walker's finest.  An inexpensive price tag, large accessibility, and a 43% alcohol volume have kept this sub-par whiskey "walking" throughout the years.  The mission statement is simple and straight-forward, to get you drunk.  A drink so bad that Johnnie Walker themselves have found no way to market it other than stating that it is "a Scotch made for mixing".  In a country where Hayef makes the laws, we are lucky to have Red Label by our side in sickness and in health.
"Walk" responsibly...

De-evolution

One might think that opposable thumbs and higher cortical function of the human brain have placed us at the top of the evolutionary ladder.  This is not entirely applicable to the primitive Kuwaiti human.  Driven mainly by primitive animalistic instincts of survival, normal human social interactions are almost nonexistent amongst the Kuwaitis.  The notion that a process of de-evolution is taking place is indeed not that farfetched.  By definition, a society is a group of people living together with mutual interest, respect and benefit.  Obviously, Kuwaitis do not qualify to be dubbed a "society".  It is a country devoid of mutual relationships.  Personal gain is prioritized even if it conflicts with the welfare of the country.  The neglect of basic self discipline and disregard to religious and civil laws are leading this country to anarchy.  One of the main contributing factors to this behavior is the arrogance of the Kuwaiti people. Arrogance that has been brought upon by mere chance that oil is found in every square centimeter of this desert country.  The people's pockets were filled overnight without breaking one drop of sweat.  To boast about one's scientific, technological, educational, athletic or even historical achievements is slightly tolerable.  However, to boast about one's geographical luck is utterly repulsive.  "The Lord (or nature) giveth and the Lord taketh away"

Mom and Dad's Anniversary

Today marks my parent's 36th wedding anniversary.  I got them a new dog collar for my dog, Blondie.  I don't know how they can stand each other for that long.  I limit the time I spend with my dad to 10 minutes a day, and 20 minutes a day for my mom excluding weekends and public holidays.  Well, they are my makers so I'm obliged to commemorate the day that they were socially and religiously accepted as a "loving" couple.  It's a good thing they're out celebrating now, coz frankly I don't think they have many more anniversaries to come; they're too damn old.  May all their days be celebrated with love and joy so they remain out of the house and out of my frickin business.

MM9 Facts

In 1983, Durex from SSL International Co. proposed the manufacturing of condoms for monkeys.  
The measure was intended to decrease the growing monkey population in the Indian subcontinent.  The project was turned down by Indian health officials and animal rights activists.

Cherry Limeade

Easy, quick and refreshing drink for the summer.


Squeeze 3-4 lime wedges in a highball glass then drop the lime wedges in the glass.  Add as much ice over the lime as you please.   Pour in some cherry juice over the ice enough to submerge the limes.  Add Sprite (Not 7up!) until the glass is full.  Garnish with some mint leaves, cherries or a lime wedge.  Voila!


***To make it Irish you can add two shots of vodka.***

Interns Tips n Tricks #1

"Avoiding Questions in the Rounds"

The first step is to anticipate the question.  This requires both talent and experience.  

Expect being asked by the consultant if:

1. The patient is one of the "classic" cases

2. If the patient has multiple findings

3. If the patient has one significant finding as demonstrated by the fake facial expression the senior usually shows as if he/she has stumbled upon a medical breakthrough

4. If the senior takes an unusually longer time examining the patient thus indicating that the senior is facing some obstacle and will now save face by asking his/her subordinates questions they cannot answer

5. If there is an addition to the rounds that the senior wants to impress (new student, hot intern, slutty nurse etc.)

***NOTE: Why would interns or students avoid such questions which are supposedly meant to teach them become better doctors and widen their horizons in the infinite world of medical knowledge?  The answer is simple, the questions are usually very highly specialized and are meant to torment the intern or student since they are not in their realm of limited medical knowledge.***

The second step is avoiding the question.    This is achieved by distraction, evasion and deception.

1. The fake call: As you have already anticipated the question [see above], you can just pick up your phone and leave the room and pretend that you're talking to a fellow doctor or staff nurse.  Just throw in the words "rounds, sister, blood result, request and busy" and you'll do just fine.

2.  The preemptive strike: As the senior's eyes wander across the group looking for the prey, you can raise your hand and ask the senior a series of questions to which you already know the answer.  This way, you have shown the senior that you're interested in the rounds and you have already satisfied the senior's ego.  

3.  The note-taking:  By taking out your pocket notebook and scribbling down with your pen you have clearly stated your interest in the rounds and the shit that comes from the senior's mouth.  You have shown the senior that you're a nerd and nerds are usually exempt from being asked.  You have also pretended to be busy and unlikely to be interrupted in the middle of your "note-taking".  

4.  Facial Expressions: Nodding your head is a really deceptive technique that some might underestimate.  However there is a catch to it.  Do not nod your head in agreement to what the senior says as if you're saying "I concur".  This shows them that you're a know-it-all.  Instead, nod your head with a slight jaw drop and a frown which says "oh! now I understand! So that's why! etc."

5.  The pocket reference: All medical students and interns are expected to have one of those mini medical books in their white coats' pockets.  When the senior is in the middle of his teaching right before he/she starts asking, take out your book and pretend that you're looking up the topic at hand.  As with step 3, this shows your fake interest and thus exempts you from being asked.  Even if the senior does ask you, you have the answer right in front of you.

...he who drinks my blood abides in me and I in him

A fine bottle of 2006 French Pinot Noir with some brie, roquefort, gouda and gruyere cheese... Mmmmmmm! A light-bodied yet quite aromatic red wine, you can never go wrong with a Pinot Noir.  I had this at the Meat Co. in Bahrain.. Their wine collection is amazing and their meat is to die for!  You should also try the blue cheese and vodka sauce with the steak *heaven*

Advertisement Fail

I saw this ad in Kuwait International Airport arrivals hall.  A chino and a tucked in short-sleeve shirt don't seem "fabulous" to me... For a gay-friendly ad, this sure is quite tacky...

Emmmmmawwash

Today I had emmawash for lunch.  It's basically one of my favorite Kuwaiti dishes.  I usually have it with ma3booch and daqoos 9bar, I'm not a big fan of the normal daqoos.  A close friend once suggested that I try having emmawash with HP sauce.  At first I was reluctant but then I tried it.  It wasn't bad at all! In fact it slightly resembles the 9bar's taste.  Interesting fact: HP stands for "House of Parliament", hence the picture of Big Ben and the English House of Parliament on the bottle.  Enjoy responsibly.

MM9 Facts

The human testicle is identical in shape and structure to the human eyeball.
In 1983, two Russian doctors successfully transplanted a testicle into a war veteran's eye socket.  The transplant was a success, however the patient was not able to see.